How You Feel is Not Who You Are

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

It was a girls weekend I had been looking forward to for a long time. Wine tasting, sun bathing, girl talks and pure relaxation was on the agenda.

My girlfriends are legit and not to mention gorgeous! Almost all of them have competed in a beauty pageant (& won!).

So you can imagine how being “on point” was something I knew I needed to be so that I good feel really good about myself during the weekend.

However with Mama Nature and her saaaweet monthly gift + with the Tinea Versicolor takeover on my body, I was feeling less confident and more fearful as the much anticipated weekend inched closer.

A little about tinea versicolor (TV): The yeast that causes TV lives on everyone’s skin. It is not clear why the yeast overgrows on some people’s skin and not others. It is believed that it can be caused by hot, humid weather, lots of sweating, oily skin and/or a weakened immune system. Which will produce (in my case) white spots on my chest, all over my stomach, upper & lower back.

I’ve tried natural remedies such as coconut oil, oregano oil, tea tree oil, and more recently an anti fungal lotion I picked up from a a health food store. With little to no progress at all.

Although a common skin problem I felt like I was wearing a Scarlet Letter. I didn’t feel beautiful and definitely felt tainted, unhealthy and unworthy of wearing a two-piece swimsuit or anything that revealed my back and/or stomach.

Well, enter in a one-piece swimsuit and my skin problem was hidden! This quick fix was certain to increase my confidence! And it did. But it was short lived. Because something still kept telling me “you’re not hiding anything, everyone knows you have a skin problem, who you kidding?”

One of the nights during the girls weekend we played a game that required us to write down 3 secrets no one knew about us or anything you were currently feeling that no one knew. This is when I wrote down: “I feel insecure, self conscious and compare myself to the other girls.”

I had wrote down a paralyzing fear that I knew needed to be addressed and it was. To my surprise not one of the girls even noticed the TV spots that covered my back and body. And each one thought that my choice of a one-piece swimsuit was fashionable!

To further calm my tears and fear each girl took turns in telling me how they see me. Things like “a beautiful heart”, “confident, radiant woman” and “childlike wonder” were shared. Each affirming the way that God sees me too.

Perhaps a reminder of who I am in Christ was exactly what I needed that weekend. But I think the affirmation of the importance of having healthy, honest and God fearing friendships is also what I needed reminder of too. It is a true blessing to have these women in my life. They discount my fears and help increase my confidence and trust in Christ.

As one of them has said “feelings are not facts”. How you feel is important but not definitive. Talk to someone you see wisdom in, a real friend, family member, God; and they will affirm the truth, that “God makes no mistakes”.

I share this with you because their might me something about your appearance that you my not like at all and maybe have successfully hidden. But trust me, you’re not hiding anything, but instead lying to your true self and in some cases telling God that what he has created is not beautiful. One of my favorite sayings is “feed your faith and your fears will starve”. Don’t give power to your insecure thoughts, girlfriend!

You are beautiful! Everything about you was “fearfully and wonderfully made” by the One who knows beauty. Rest in that truth, gorgeous and put on that two piece swimsuit, I know I will!

Xo,
Raquel

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

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8 comments

  1. Raquel I very much enjoyed reading this resent post about your weekend with your girlfriends. You ate truly blessed to have such supportive, sincere, honest, loving friends. I really enjoyed it and helped me look at myself as we’ll. Your mom is blessed to have u as her daughter!! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  2. Raquel I very much enjoyed reading this resent post about your weekend with your girlfriends. You ate truly blessed to have such supportive, sincere, honest, loving friends. I really enjoyed it and helped me look at myself as we’ll. Your mom is blessed to have u as her daughter!! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  3. Raquel, I LOVE being your Facebook friend and reading your blog. Let me list some of the reasons why. I was a Miss Ohio USA pageant girl (I was at Miss USA for my friend the night Kristen won!) and I have ALWAYS compared myself to my beautiful friends. I never saw God in that pageant part of my life until I met my best friend Natasha. We share our faith together much like you and your friends and I think that is why I enjoy your posts so much (and feel like I know you!). I also had TV for a long, long time and I know the feeling. My parents often hosted pool parties for my friends but I always felt so uncomfortable. I no longer have it. One day I just noticed I hadn’t had it in a long time and haven’t seen it show up since. I hope that happens for you too, but even if it doesn’t, I’m glad that you know you are beautiful because “you are fearfully and wonderfully made.” Thank you so much for the post, I needed to hear some of those words and I’ve marked that in my bible now. Thank you!

    1. Brooke! Your comment has made me teary eyed in the most wonderful way. Thank you so much for taking the time to connect with me and share a little about yourself. I am so happy you have a friend in pageantry that you can share your faith with! It’s such a beautiful feeling! And to hear that you too have had TV (and no longer do!) increases my faith ten-folds! Again, thank you so much for your comment!! Big blessings sister! Xoxo

  4. Raquel, I LOVE being your Facebook friend and reading your blog. Let me list some of the reasons why. I was a Miss Ohio USA pageant girl (I was at Miss USA for my friend the night Kristen won!) and I have ALWAYS compared myself to my beautiful friends. I never saw God in that pageant part of my life until I met my best friend Natasha. We share our faith together much like you and your friends and I think that is why I enjoy your posts so much (and feel like I know you!). I also had TV for a long, long time and I know the feeling. My parents often hosted pool parties for my friends but I always felt so uncomfortable. I no longer have it. One day I just noticed I hadn’t had it in a long time and haven’t seen it show up since. I hope that happens for you too, but even if it doesn’t, I’m glad that you know you are beautiful because “you are fearfully and wonderfully made.” Thank you so much for the post, I needed to hear some of those words and I’ve marked that in my bible now. Thank you!

    1. Brooke! Your comment has made me teary eyed in the most wonderful way. Thank you so much for taking the time to connect with me and share a little about yourself. I am so happy you have a friend in pageantry that you can share your faith with! It’s such a beautiful feeling! And to hear that you too have had TV (and no longer do!) increases my faith ten-folds! Again, thank you so much for your comment!! Big blessings sister! Xoxo